XXII. 5/14/08

She sat under the flourescent lights for hours. Three slept; he was not conscious when they brought him out of recovery. It was unbearable. She wouldn't be able to assess the damage until he woke. She sat by his side, jumping at every hitch in his breath.

Twice.

She was the bad partner. She'd put so much energy into scrutinizing his weaknesses that she hadn't paid any attention to her own. First, she cost Crispy his leg, and now, and now...

The doctor said he's have a fair recovery. Fair? She'd left him behind in her ardor. No partner was safe with her.

He stirred; she bristled. He started mumbling, "Grrrrm ... trans-fat! ... chest hair..." It was torture. She put on the T.V. to distract herself.

A jingly jingle brightened the commercial break. A small boy, cherubic, graced the screen. "I'm hungry!" he gasped.

A fluffy pig puppet waddled next to him and smiled, "I'm Pigsy Porkster! I want to be your bacon!" The adorable boy hugged the puppet. Overhead, an angle swiped a tear.

Grimironie's teeth clenched. She stood in reaction. I'll make some bacon! she muttered while grabbing her jacket.

Three stirred again. He grunted, "No! ...pork rinds. Don't eat them, fool!" She leaned over and caressed his hair.

"It's okay, Billy-Ray MacHaggis III. You're safe."

He rubbed his hospital gown and muttered, "Stubble! I have stubble!"

He eyes teared. It must have been from the dryness of the radiator. "Get well," she choked, "You're better off here. I'm getting Frank, and Bauer. He'll hang from his sideburns before the next sunset."

* * * * * * * *

She sped maniacally up the Wisconsin Trail, bump-drafting deer and squashing gophers. In her mind, she saw Three over and over. The surgeon said, "He may be left with only a five-pack of abs. We won't know until the swelling goes down." She bit her lip. The worst-case scenario was abominable.

* * * * * * * * *

The sun rose over Bauer's camp. His victory looked inevitable, but his Porks hadn't risen. "Lazy slobs!" he bellowed.

They crunched; they slowly rose to their feet amidst Italian herbs. They had been egged and breaded! He howled insanely.